Finding the right mental health professional can feel overwhelming
especially when you are already navigating something difficult. There are so many different types of practitioners, approaches, and formats that knowing where to even begin can be its own challenge.
This guide is here to help. Whether you are looking for therapy for the first time or searching for a better fit, these questions and reflections will help you find someone who is truly right for you.
Start With Yourself…What Are You Looking For?
Before you begin searching, it helps to get clear on your own needs. There are no right or wrong answers here, this is simply about understanding what matters to you.
Consider asking yourself:
- What kind of support are you looking for: short term, long term, or immediate crisis care?
- Are there specific topics or concerns you want to work on? If so, it may help to find someone who has experience in those areas.
- Are you looking for a therapist covered by Krankenkasse, or is private pay an option for you?
- What kind of person do you want to work with? Things like gender identity, language, cultural background, and lived experience. For example, working with a BIPoC or 2SLGBTQ+ practitioner — can matter enormously to how safe and understood you feel.
- Do you prefer in-person sessions, online, or a mix of both?
Getting clear on these questions before you start searching will save you time and energy — and help you trust your instincts when you find someone who feels like a good fit.
Questions to Ask a Potential Therapist
Most mental health professionals, myself included offer a free initial consultation. This is your opportunity to get to know them before committing to anything. I always encourage potential clients to treat this first meeting as an interview. You are considering hiring this person to support you through some of the most personal aspects of your life. You are allowed to ask questions.
Here are some helpful things to ask:
- What is their education, training, licensure, and years in practice?
- What are their fees, session lengths, and typical availability?
- What is their therapeutic approach and philosophy and does it suit your needs and style?
- Do they currently have space, or is there a waitlist?
- What are their confidentiality and consent policies?
- What are their professional boundaries?
If anything is unclear, ask for more information. A good mental health professional will welcome your questions and will not be unsettled by them.
Sleep On It
After a first meeting, I always encourage people to give themselves at least a night before making a decision. There is no need to commit at the end of the session. Taking time to reflect removes the pressure of having to decide in the moment, and gives you space to notice how you actually feel about the interaction once you are back in your own environment.
How Did It Feel?
The relationship between a client and their therapist is one of the most important factors in whether therapy is effective. Qualifications and experience matter, but so does how you feel in the room with this person.
After your initial consultation, reflect on whether you felt:
- A genuine sense of connection
- That the therapist was being authentic and present
- That you could trust them enough to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, even the ones that feel scary or uncomfortable
- That they valued you and believed in your capacity to grow
- That they communicated openly and warmly, even when gently pointing to areas for growth
A gentle reminder: a mental health professional can have all the tools in the world, but if the relationship between you is not there, those tools will not reach you. The relationship is the foundation of everything.
Once You Have Chosen Someone, Keep Checking In
Finding a mental health professional is not a one-time decision. Once you begin working with someone, it is worth continuing to notice how you feel as time goes on.
If something does not feel right after the first session, bring it up at your next one. A good therapist will be able to hold that conversation. If things do not improve, it is okay to look for someone else. You do not owe any therapist your continued attendance if the match is not working.
Your comfort, safety, and progress matter. Finding the right fit is worth the time it takes.
Looking for an English-Speaking Therapist in Berlin?
If you are based in Berlin or looking for online counselling in English, I offer a free 30-minute initial consultation. I work with individuals, partnerships, and groups, with a particular focus on queer, trans, and LGBTQI+ clients, as well as trauma, identity, and social justice.